We get that at some point, you need to sell a bit of the sizzle in order to attract the Scarberian moms and their demon-spawn to the ballpark. But with the Jays mired in a lousy stretch, we can't think of anything more depressing than this spectacle.
Actually, we can. It's having gas can Josh Towers pimp the event in the presser:
"My son can't get enough of the Doodlebops," said Jays pitcher Josh Towers. "The fact that they are both entertaining and family-friendly means I don't have to worry when Ryan wants to watch them."
Cripes.

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